I have learned that I love parents. Parents simply do not have time to overthink or doubt themselves. If they did, nothing would ever happen and no one would ever leave their houses! I’m not saying there aren’t meltdowns and mess ups. Of course there are, but the resulting fall out becomes negatory and everyone can just dust up and move on. For me it’s a simpler life than the anxious, careful over deliberation of past life choices. My every second is occupied. Yes it’s sort of stressful at times. But actually if something doesn’t get done, it just doesn’t matter to me anymore. It’s just tough luck and more of the same tomorrow. If a parent is late or cancels, it’s for a good reason. Trust me, they probably crave your company and wish they could be there right now discussing whatever important issues of the day over a coffee that someone else made for them and there wasn’t another nappy change, feed, over tired screaming fit, long drive, bus journey or otherwise unmanageable set of circumstances between them and you and coffee. They are not ditching you in favour of some love interest, taking too long to do their hair or weighing up a better offer. They mean what they say. Lying would require too much cognitive action. Choices are split second. The answer to wine is yes and the answer to will they be able to be there next week is find out on the day. I admire the honesty and the long stories cut short, the getting to the point and the making the most of simple pleasures. I still get to do all the things I love, on top of loving and caring for my baby. But I savour them so much more. The main thing is that I just do not waste time on anything that isn’t very important to me. It’s streamlined my genuine personal interests and topics I’m willing to discuss for over 5 minutes. I hope my friends still like me… who am I kidding. My real friends are better friends than ever before and everyone else is just too busy doing their own thing to hang out with a baby and that’s totally fine. If I had to adjust my world or my behaviour to fit someone else expectation, well right now it just simply wouldn’t happen. Here I am bare faced and real as they come and I couldn’t be happier about that particular aspect.
Illustration by Lucy Scott
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