Super Powers for a Simple Life

I have learned that I love parents. Parents simply do not have time to overthink or doubt themselves. If they did, nothing would ever happen and no one would ever leave their houses! I’m not saying there aren’t meltdowns and mess ups. Of course there are, but the resulting fall out becomes negatory and everyone can just dust up and move on. For me it’s a simpler life than the anxious, careful over deliberation of past life choices. My every second is occupied. Yes it’s sort of stressful at times. But actually if something doesn’t get done, it just doesn’t matter to me anymore. It’s just tough luck and more of the same tomorrow. If a parent is late or cancels, it’s for a good reason. Trust me, they probably crave your company and wish they could be there right now discussing whatever important issues of the day over a coffee that someone else made for them and there wasn’t another nappy change, feed, over tired screaming fit, long drive, bus journey or otherwise unmanageable set of circumstances between them and you and coffee. They are not ditching you in favour of some love interest, taking too long to do their hair or weighing up a better offer. They mean what they say. Lying would require too much cognitive action. Choices are split second. The answer to wine is yes and the answer to will they be able to be there next week is find out on the day. I admire the honesty and the long stories cut short, the getting to the point and the making the most of simple pleasures. I still get to do all the things I love, on top of loving and caring for my baby. But I savour them so much more. The main thing is that I just do not waste time on anything that isn’t very important to me. It’s streamlined my genuine personal interests and topics I’m willing to discuss for over 5 minutes. I hope my friends still like me… who am I kidding. My real friends are better friends than ever before and everyone else is just too busy doing their own thing to hang out with a baby and that’s totally fine. If I had to adjust my world or my behaviour to fit someone else expectation, well right now it just simply wouldn’t happen. Here I am bare faced and real as they come and I couldn’t be happier about that particular aspect. 

Illustration by Lucy Scott

Doodle Diary of a New Mom: An Illustrated Journey Through One Mommy’s First Year 

by Lucy Scott

Nervous Baby Dolphin

I’ve been taking Grace to Swimkidz. The babies are dunked underwater right from the start to build on their natural instinct for it. Some impulsively kick their legs and one little beauty is way ahead with a butterfly stroke, aka big arm waving. Grace on the other hand cries her little heart out. Eeek! But it has helped me learn how to comfort her really well. So on top of swimming, she is learning that although Mum won’t shield her from doing scary things, I will be there to help her be brave and learn new skills.

Becoming a Mum is like joining a special club. But it’s a special club full of every kind of person, so I’m not guaranteed to get on with them all. I’ve been feeling guilty about not attending more baby groups so far. Partly I am a little intimidated because I visited my local centre for an antenatal class and I was patronised out of going back by a pregnant Doctor in the group. She was so desperate to be right over being friendly or helpful. It was really rude and bullying. So I’m kinda not up for hanging out there.

I also haven’t really wanted to yet. Being freelance, there is every reason to make hay in prosperous times. I’ve got some lovely contracts ticking along just now, but I have no idea what will be around the corner. I am in year four of independent trading and I love my lifestyle, but my take home profit is non existent. I more achieve the lifestyle I want, through enjoying of the trappings of my profession. As her Auntie Kate says, there is no such thing as a work life balance. There is just life. I am making the best use of what I have. At the moment I work in baby’s nap times. Sometimes writing, sometimes designing and more frequently now sewing garments. I have opened an Etsy Shop. I will be adding my creations in coming weeks. I hope to use the extra cash to buy the things I need for baby Grace. 

She likes the sewing days because she enjoys the physical aspect of my moving about the room waving colourful fabrics and counting out patterns. We’ve also discovered that dancing for her is a completely successful form of baby entertainment. Ghetto Funk is a firm favourite so far. But I haven’t worked out how to make a living out of that yet. Exercise video anyone?

I get on with the Mums at Swimkidz. Not least because they have been so supportive of my taking her in order to consciously avoid passing on my own fear of water. I’m actually grateful that Grace cried all the way through her first session. We can only get better from here and it proves that the guided sessions are a worthy investment for a nervous baby dolphin. But also because we have something in common, more than just children of the same age. A small, regular group means I get to have meaningful interactions with the other Mums. I feel like at this early stage in Grace’s life, I will find Mums who we’ll get on well with if I seek out activities that mean something to me. I wonder if anyone else originally just signed up because they want to have their own baby version of the Nevermind album cover?

Swimkidz

Pure Liberty on Etsy

Ghetto Funk